May It Last

I saw something today... an alternate life, I guess you could say. I've had a long time friend who I had grown up with, who I have known since birth really. Our families were best of friends, our brothers were best friends and she was, if nothing else, a close friend. I held a deep care and concern for her life and prayed often for her as a child. I don't mean to meditate too much on this subject but I must get it off my chest. And forgive me, the few of you who understand more than the rest, for going on and on but I feel as if my point has not been properly received.
It was her wedding today. And she was given to a man that I've never known but whose sight and smell cause me to ache, as only alcohol and smoldering tobacco can. I felt unhinged, like I had missed the opportunity to change what was and now what is. Many years back this young girl fell victim to an all too common disease called divorce. Her parents split and her life took a spin into world of pain and vacancy. And if I may, my 12 year-old self sat by and waited far too long to tell her it was ok, to tell her that life wasn't over and that God still cared. I know I will be told that I can't blame myself for the outcome of another, but if you don't catch a coin will it not drop to the floor? See, I had the chance, over and over and over again... to help, to call, to do more than pray. But I didn't... I let that flipping coin of chance, of maybe drop... drop... clink!
I pray once again, because now it's all I can do. The chances are gone and the winds are very soft. I pray that her commitment lasts. I pray more that her soon to be born child lasts. And even more that they find what only will forever last. God bless you, old friend.

-Consumed

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